Such a common, oft-asked question for those of us who have a long history with alcohol and are just now questioning whether it’s doing us any favors.
So first let me ask: When you have thought about this in the past, have the following (or similar) thoughts ever entered your head as you’ve attempted to justify your alcohol intake?
- “I’m a high-functioning professional (or fill in the blank there; high-functioning parent/grandparent, high-functioning employee, high-functioning entrepreneur, high-functioning student, etc.) and not your typical “drunk” whose life has fallen to pieces, etc. So this proves that alcohol isn’t causing any negative effects in my life; right?”
- “I only drink on weekends, not every night, so I can’t be considered someone who has a ‘problem’; right?”
- “I may drink every night, but I never drink enough to have hangovers like I did in my younger years, so alcohol really can’t be harming me; right?”
- “I can stop any time I choose...I just choose not to right now.”
All perfectly legitimate questions/statements based on logical thoughts and beliefs; yes?
Until they’re not.
Is your subconscious telling you it’s time to sober up?
Because here’s the deal: just the mere fact that you’re questioning whether you should consider making changes shows that somewhere deep down you already know that it’s time; otherwise it wouldn’t even have entered your mind. It would be a nonissue.
But that being said, I can understand that you’re probably wondering whether or not you really have “a problem” or are an “alcoholic” (or whatever other derogatory label you can think of that society deems applicable to describe a phenomenon that actually is quite simple).
Yes, you read that right. I emphasize the word “simple.”
The unspoken truth about the addictive nature of alcohol
Because the mere fact is: alcohol is among the top five addictive substances a human can ingest (the other four being cocaine, heroin, barbiturates and nicotine, not necessarily in that order, depending on the source). And alcohol use disorder (AUD), which is the medical term used to describe dependency on alcohol, is the most common type of substance use disorder in the United States, according to the SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration).
Therefore it stands to reason that if you are someone who has a history of drinking and finds him- or herself unable to EASILY cut back on, or altogether quit ingesting said substance, you are most likely addicted, at least psychologically, if not physiologically. And there are many levels of addiction, depending on duration and quantities and even type of liquor, etc.
And what a relief; right? Knowing it’s not us, the human beings, but, rather, the substance itself!
But you came to this blog questioning whether it’s time for YOU to control your drinking. And, therefore, I feel it might be helpful to list some of the signals I have personally witnessed, and/or experienced myself, that might give you an INKLING that your use of alcohol could be having a detrimental effect on your life and that a change might be warranted.
And notice I used the verbiage “a change” and not “abstinence” or “quitting for good.” Because maybe it’s the case that you’re merely getting curious at this stage, wondering what it could be like if, say, maybe you didn’t drink EVERY night...or if maybe you didn’t drink QUITE as much at each sitting. And that’s okay. That’s great, in fact. Because that curiosity means you’re ready to learn and ready to absorb the information you’re seeking to gather that will help your conscious and subconscious minds come together as one eventually (instead of constantly battling against each other), which will enable you to make the right decisions towards giving you the life you dream of.
Can you relate to any of these signs of potential problem drinking?
I ask that you read this list with an open mind. None are an end-all/be-all sign that you are heading down a path of alcohol addiction or are there yet. Rather, if you find that you can relate to any of these situations, just take notice. They are meant to cause you to merely question your dependence and to point out potential red flags.
Let’s see whether any of these apply to you:
- You forget conversations you had the night before. You might remember that you HAD a conversation, but you don’t remember the topic(s) discussed or how things went. This can apply to a voice conversation as well as a text or written communication. You get reminded the next day and then realize it’s completely gone from your brain. Termed a “blackout.” Scary stuff.
- The hangovers are becoming more and more frequent, most likely as a direct result of your drinking increasingly larger quantities in order to feel the same effects you used to. Ever succumbed to the “hair of the dog” to “cure” that horrible feeling? That horrible feeling is your body doing what it’s supposed to – it’s demanding more of the same substance that it’s now become so accustomed to that, without it, it goes into “detox mode” – which isn’t very comfortable. So it’s saying give me more of that stuff to make this uneasiness (and usually queasiness!) go away!
- You start hiding either the FACT that you drink or how MUCH you drink. Everything from having to manage your empties to avoid detection (ever wondered if your neighbors/family members shake their heads at the sound of the bottles or cans rattling around in the trash can on trash day?!), or drinking out of an opaque water bottle (lest those around you discover what’s REALLY going down your throat), or having a secret stash stowed away somewhere. Or even heading home early from social events so you can have your own private booze fest.
- You try to avoid social events that don’t serve alcohol, and seek out those that do.
- You wake up around 3/3:30am routinely after a night of drinking – very thirsty and very wide awake.
- You make promises to yourself that you won’t drink that night or that you’ll wait til the weekend or that you’ll take several days off from drinking...and usually cave at 5 o’clock.
See a pattern here? So much effort involved in worrying about when we can drink again. So much effort involved in not letting anyone find out how much we want it. And so much anxiety having to deal with the aftermath, either because of what you may have said or done or when you realize that your body is suffering because of it. And the trying to act “normal” – whether it be the day after and you’re feeling like death or during the event and trying to act as if it’s no big deal that they haven’t started serving yet or, worse, that it’s last call.
So much wasted energy chasing the alcohol buzz!
I was on this roller coaster for years – wondering how bad things really were. Because I COULD stop for a while at times. And it wasn’t like I drank every waking hour or was a day drinker even. I just really, really, REALLY wanted to have that wine (later switching to vodka), after working my long, hard day. And then I really, really, REALLY wanted to also have it as a means of comfort on the weekend nights, to fill the void of my lonely existence when nothing else could. And I really, really, REALLY thought that I needed alcohol to have fun at social events or hanging out with friends. Those were some of the thoughts and beliefs – albeit misguided – that I held on to over the years that kept me from seeking help or answers.
The thing is, there IS no black-and-white, concrete set of criteria for determining whether alcohol is overly controlling your life or whether you have a “problem.” And in fact, it really only becomes apparent that it’s an issue when you come to a decision that you just don’t want to be drinking anymore, but then can’t stop. Or are at least having a hard time stopping.
So maybe you’re not there yet. Maybe you HAVEN’T experienced any of these phenomena, but yet you are nonetheless concerned about your alcohol intake, for whatever myriad of potential reasons. If that’s the case, I APPLAUD you for inquiring at this stage! Because, trust me, most of the experiences on that list WILL happen to you if you don’t do something now and, instead, continue to drink, not to mention the health issues that will start to pop up.
So do I or do I not have a problem with alcohol?
No matter where you are in your journey, and considering all that I’ve stated above, there’s really only one question that you need to answer:
Would my life be better, happier, if alcohol weren’t a part of it?
The answer to that question should determine what your next steps are.
And if your answer is yes, please Book a Discovery Call. I would be happy to guide you towards options available to you, if that’s what you want. The call is free and will NOT be a sales pitch. I will not ask you for a credit card, nor a commitment of any kind. My goal is simply to help you in your decision-making, period.